you always hear of women being proud that they can still fit into their wedding dresses, years down the road. I would like to be one of those people, but I would ALSO like to fit into my dress on my wedding day. because of recent events (weird schedules, winter, a part-time gig as a restaurant reviewer, my deep and abiding love of fried chicken and dessert), it’s a little snug. i can zip it, but it’s not comfy. 

so i’ve had this idea that i would start a new eating plan a couple months beforehand. but i’m not known for my will power, so to give myself a goose in that area, i bought a new dress for our engagement party.

So now I have TWO dresses to fit into. 

right now it’s also a little snug, but i have a month to lose the couple of inches (i don’t weigh myself, i measure. That’s what Dr Oz says to do) needed to make that happen. Easy, right? 

well. I have a problem with sugar. i love it. “oh,” you say. ” I have SUCH a sweet tooth! I get these cravings from time to time…” and I say “NO, sir or madam, these are not mere cravings. this is an actual Addiction.” I don’t binge; I’m more like a junkie needing to maintain a certain level of a drug in his system because when he doesn’t he goes into withdrawal. if I eat sugar (and this includes bread, or pasta, or polenta, or cereal), i need it again. Avec vitesse. In any form. So a meal of pasta one night leads to cereal in the morning, which leads to cookies in the afternoon, which leads to chocolate at night. After I’ve finished my pasta. And then if I don’t eat sugar for a day or two I actually start to feel nauseated. And the only thing that will ease that feeling? More sugar. So I had to give it up. Because while I’d love to be the kind of person who can take two bites of a dessert and then eat salads every other meal, I’m not that kind of person. (YET.)

As of right now (Tuesday) I’m on day 2 of no sugar, and plan to do a cleanse (one that allows eating, i’m not crazy) sometime in the next week. because i WILL fit into my super-cute jason wu for target dress on march 16. 

(And I might get some really cute yellow shoes to go with it!)

so i apologize in advance if i snarl at you, or try to bat a cookie out of your hand. i’m going through a little withdrawal.